We

Many of my Friday and Saturday nights when I was a kid were spent at the home of close family friends.  My father and my stepmother were incredibly close to another Tamil couple in our town and I was equally as close with their two sons.  The three of us would spend hours playing computer games, hanging out, and just having a great time.  However, as the evening progressed, at some point my dad would walk into the room.

The moment of truth.

Each time he would say in Tamil "We are leaving".  However, in that statement I would find out if I would have to leave or if I was allowed to sleep over with my friends.

Now for native English speakers this idea can be a bit confusing.  How can someone say the same sentence "We are leaving", but mean two different things depending on the scenario?  Does the listener depend on contextual clues?  Perhaps the tone of voice?  Actually it's a lot simpler than that.

In Tamil, there are two forms of the word we: "inclusive" and "exclusive". Depending on the word used, it either includes the listener or doesn't.  Confused? See below:

Leave it to Wikipedia to explain the difference a lot clearer than I ever could.   In Tamil, if one is including the addressee one uses the word "Naam".  If not, one uses the word "Nangal".  So basically if he used "Nangal" for the word "we" (as in referring to him and my stepmom, but excluding me), it meant that I would get a sleepover.  

If, he used "Naam" (as in referring to him, my stepmom, AND me), I'd complain that it wasn't late, and that he was being unfair, and then I would start crying like a two year old baby...

OK.  Maybe I didn't start crying.  The point is that at that young age, I learned that when said one used the term "We" in English, it could have multiple meanings.

As you'll see, inclusive and exclusive forms also existed for the Tamil word for "Our" as well.

One time my parents sponsored a prayer at the Hindu temple in Pittsburgh.  They invited the entire community and ordered mounds of fruits, flowers, and coconuts to make offerings.  I remember walking into my parents' bedroom as my Mom was adjusting her silk and gold sari.  That's when I asked: "Is Leena Aunty and Selvarajan Uncle going to be there?" Leena Aunty and Selvarajan Uncle were other close family friends.

Amma: Oh Harikannu, they don't come to our kovil(temple). They go to Church.  They are Christian.

I was utterly confused! An Indian that was...Christian?  I thought I understand how society worked: My non-Indian friends were Christian and my Indian friends were Hindu.  At the age of 5, I had already started categorizing people into specific categories with specific traits.

Me: (clearly upset) They don't like Krishna?

My mom must have heard the distress in my voice because she knelt down and carried me over to our family shrine.  Once there, she pointed to a picture of my late grandmother, my father's mother, my Ayah, and asked me to tell me who she was.

Me: Amma...that's Ayah.

Amma: Yes that's right.  And your Appa loved her very much.  And she loved him very much as well.  We do this out of reverence for her spirit as we believe that she is as close to God as she is to our hearts.  But do you think your friends have pictures of Ayah in their houses?

Me: <<laughing>> No Amma! She's our [Engalodiya - Exclusive] Ayah!  That's not their Grandma!

Amma: Even though your friends don't know your grandmother, they know that a grandmother's touch feels like the softest cotton.  They know that a grandmother's kiss still feels like the a spring rain.  They know that a grandmother's hug is warmer than a fireplace.

Me: <<confused>> Adha Naal?...So what?


Amma: So?  We all experience a grandmother's love in our  own way.  Regardless of what name we give the person who shared that with us, regardless of that person's color, creed, or path...they are all grandmothers.

<<raising her hands in prayer>>

Adhu pol...Like that...the Lord of all lords, the Creator of all creations, the Spirit that moves all spirits is one being. He is that which humbles all of us. <<smiles to me>>  Aunty and Uncle love that same spirit that we pray to in Pittsburgh.

Me: But they don't pray to our God?

Amma: They worship our [Nanmodiya - Inclusive] God. There is no "Engalodiya" in God.  He is not yours, mine, or someone else's.  He is God  for us all.

I never forgot that.  It reminded me how much significance is carried in the words "We" and "Our".  I was reminded of that conversation years later while watching a TV segment.  In the show, a man interviewed random people on the street and asked them what was the first sentence of the Constitution.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Most people, got "We the People".   After that, it was pretty much chaos.  People started reciting the Declaration of Independence, the Emancipation Proclamation....there were even several who included pieces of Martin Luther King, Jr's "I Dreamed A Dream" speech.

Although the idea of the show was to show how unaware the American public was of their own laws, I think the show missed the fact that most people remembered (at least to me) the most important part...We the people.

This reminds us that when we speak of the laws of this nation, we speak as a unified group of people.  There is no "We" against "Them".  We the people...is basically the inclusive form of "We" in Tamil.

The Constitution was written in an era that was  burdened with masochism, slavery, and intolerance.  However, the document has withstood the test of time because it is based on the values of acceptance and commonality.  For me, "We the People" is as inclusive as one can get.  It carries the same fervency as my mother's words when she insisted that we all believe in the same God, regardless of our faith.

To appreciate this commonality is a core concept that is important for governments, faiths, and even for every individual to live a good life.  It's when we stratify society and categorize people based on birth, attributes, and backgrounds, that the seeds of intolerance are sown.

In the dramatized version of the Hindu epic "Lakshmi Sabadham", the story of Lakshmi, there is a scene where a milkmaid is brought to speak before a group of intellectuals and to join in their debates.  The priests and scholars immediately scoff and mock her and are incredulous that someone of her status could join in an intellectual debate.  The milkmaid then spoke:

"The Lord Almighty, Narayana, was born of the cow-herders...my heritage.  The Lord Narayana is the father of the spirit of creation (Brahma).  From creation, all of the spiritual knowledge and the scholars that bear them came into existence.  So are we not all of the same clan?  If birth, and not merit, determine our status, are we not all born as cow-herders and as equals?

By saying that we should all be seen as equals does not mean that I do not support individuality.  Tamil has an exclusive form of "we" and "our" because it recognizes that we are possess a diverse range of traits.  To say that we have characteristics that others do not is something worth celebrating.  That we all have unique qualities is a thing of beauty.

But the inclusive form of "we" has merit because it reminds us that there are core truths that unify us. That regardless of our faith, our culture, or our beliefs, "We the people" are deserving of certain dignities.  To know the inclusive form of the word shapes our humanity from our individuality.  It creates commonality from our differences.

So the next time some person talks about "our faith" versus "their faith", you may want to consider the significance of that word "our".   When a politician spews hate-filled statements against people who do not follow in the footsteps of our founding fathers, you may want to consider what "We the People" meant to our founding fathers.  When you see someone being defaced due to their economic, social, racial, or cultural background, you may want to consider what it means to be "us".

Even when you speak, you may want to consider what you actually mean when you state:

This is OUR land.
These are OUR values.
These are OUR rights.
This is what WE deserve.
I personally can't imagine a situation where any of those statements would use the exclusive form.

Righteous

The time period that I was in High School was a politically turbulent time in the US.  The events of 9/11 occurred during my sophomore year.  I was in French class when the announcement was made that planes had hit the twin towers.  It was a surreal day.  First, there were the phone calls to my relatives/close family friends that worked in and around the World Trade Center.  After discovering that they were safe, the numbness still didn't fade.

It was later that afternoon that the reality finally sunk in.





I was watching TV and I remember a Latin American woman standing in front of the TV with pictures of her brother.  Even though it was early afternoon, the dust in the sky from fallen buildings left the entire setting dark as night.  Her interview only lasted several seconds and was merely among a whole slew of people speaking about their missing loved ones.  However, this specific interview stuck in my memory.  I remember her saying at one point: "He may have amnesia if something hit him on the head.  If he's forgotten most things, he may respond to our nickname for him."  And at that moment, she said a Spanish word and burst into tears.  All the tears I had withheld until that moment, were released.

It's amazing how quickly that unified sense of remorse our nation felt dissolved into antagonistic groups immersed in either hatred or forgiveness.  Prior to the War in Iraq, I remember that students at our school held peace protests near the flag pole. I also remember the counter-protesters with their own slogan.  While I can barely remember anything that occurred at the peace protest, I remember being fixated on the crowd of youth waving a banner with the words "Bomb Iraq."

No it wasn't "Bring Terrorists to Justice".  Or "End Tyranny in Iraq". Or "Bring Peace to the Middle East."

Bomb Iraq. Bomb Iraq. Bomb Iraq.  Their voices echoed in my head for nights after the war erupted.  If kids in high school, in a progressive community like State College, could believe that positive resolution to a conflict is to bomb, kill, and even decimate an entire population...are the actions of September 11th, although definitely horrific, really that unimaginable?

In other words:  If kids raised in a white-collared suburban college-town community in Central Pennsylvania feel that blindly decimating an entire country's population with no regard as to whether the individuals they bomb are young, old, women, men, disabled, sick, etc. resolves the problems of evil and tyranny, then...

...what exactly goes through a kid's mind raised in a war-torn country?

That very night I remember hearing these words from our President, ""States like these and their terrorist allies constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world."

Have you ever heard of the British Overseas Indian Territory? No? It is an archipelago of islands located halfway between Africa and Indonesia. In this territory were the former Chagos Islands.  The islands were well known by Indians, Mauritians, and the Maldivians. Until the 1960s, the Islands were inhabited by a group of individuals known as the Chagossians or the Ilois (French for "Islanders").  The people were simple islanders that depended on fishing and agriculture for sustenance.  They were of mostly African heritage, with some mixed Malay and South Indian backgrounds.  Their language was a French creole. Their faith was Catholic.

1965:  A year after M.L.K. received the Nobel Prize for Peace for defending the civil liberties of his people, the Chagossians' simple lives were changed in a political stroke by powers that existed hundreds and thousands of miles from them.  In exchange for the independence of the nation of Mauritius, the islands were split off to form a separate British Territory.  Throughout this entire process, no referendum was held.  No consultation was made with the Chagossians.  The newly formed constitution was not democratic in nature, for it began a process of forced depopulation of the islands.

There are many testimonies online that discuss decreasing food supplies, violence, and threats to force the Chagossians to move.  But I think the basic summary of the actions came on April 16th, 1971, less than 2 years after the Stonewall riots.  The United Kingdom issued "British Island Overseas Territory Ordinance Number 1".  It made it a criminal offence for any non-military personnel to live on the islands.

One can not even claim that this depopulation was the result of poor administration efforts. No.  There was a malicious effort to deny Chagossians of any territorial claims. Eleanor Emery, the head of the territory issued the following message:   

..."Apart from our overall strategic and defense interests, we are also concerned at present not to have to elaborate on the administrative implications for the present population of Diego Garcia [The largest island of the Chagos Islands] of the establishment of any base there.

We would not wish it to become general knowledge that some of the inhabitants have lived on Diego Garcia for several generations and could, therefore, be regarded as 'belongers'.

We shall advise ministers in handling supplementary questions to say that there is only a small number of contract workers from the Seychelles and Mauritius, engaged to work on the copra plantations."

And in a dry, official document, the natives were disenfranchised.

The compensation that was provided per head was 6,000 Pounds per head.  6,000 Pounds to relocate, find home, learn a new language, learn a new trade, and survive.  The British government "kindly" offered additional money in 1979...but only to those who would relinquish any right to return to the Islands.

Even as an American, I feel my hands are not clean.  Because the military located there, is a combined British and US armed force.  The depopulation of the islands was done by both British and US military personnel.

But beyond a feeling of shame, I can't help but feel a strong feeling...the harsher and bitter feeling of irony being played here.

In 1962, the President of United States, John F. Kennedy said, in regards to the creation of the state of Israel:

"This nation, from the time of President Woodrow Wilson, has established and continued a tradition of friendship with Israel because we are committed to all free societies that seek a path to peace and honor individual right."

This blog entry isn't about imparting knowledge or wisdom.  Because at this time I am at a loss. I can not even say that the "Trail of Tears" existed over a century ago.  Less than a decade before my birth, another forgotten Trail of Tears occurred.  But their woes have been forgotten...like tears in the salty ocean they crossed to their new homes.

Because in my mind, I'm still a kid in high school watching a group of kids.  They are laughing, talking, and kicking around a soccer ball.  But as I watch them, their faces darken, not only the sun, but under years of hardship.  Their features may have changed, but that ferocity remains.  Their signs change from "Bomb Iraq" to "Bomb UK" or "Bomb USA".  And the same way I feared my own peers, I find myself fearful of these Chagossians.

And I find myself confused. Who is the axis of Evil our President spoke of?  Who is the axis of Good?  And most importantly...who is righteous?

Beasts

When I was a kid, I loved reading the Amar Chitra Katha books.  The Amar Chitra Katha books were a series of illustrated comic books that depicted stories from Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain religions.  I loved the characters in those stories.  Those characters, as Pi said in Life of Pi:

"...were my superheroes growing up. Hanuman, the monkey god, lifting an entire mountain to save his friend Lakshman. Ganesh the elephant headed, risking his life to save the honor of his mother Pārvati. Vishnu, the Supreme Soul. The Soul of all things. Vishnu sleeps, floating on the shoreless cosmic ocean, and we are the stuff of his dreams."

 But you see, it was always easy to tell who the heroes and the villains were in those stories.  Even as they were being introduced, the good characters would have halos around their face, like a miniature moon acting as their personal shadow.  And the villains would have horns and tusks.  Even those who would later become traitors would have their eyes heavily shadowed with kohl, so as to reveal their dark intentions through their soft appearances.


This is not a technique that is limited to Indian illustrations.  Do not all of our Western heroes/heroines and villains follow similar archetypes?  The blonde-haired maiden pursued by a dark-haired villain?  The tall and handsome prince?  The crooked back scientist that creates a monster?  And of course, the beloved Wicked Witch from the Land of Oz wore black all the time because...

...black makes you look more slender?


But characters in history have proven to not follow these archetypes.

I remember when I was in middle school, as we were discussing the Holocaust, the thought behind everyone's mind was "How could people not spot the villains and call out 'wolf'?  Why did noone do anything to stop these atrocities!"

There are two parts to the answer to these questions.  First, it's not easy to tell evil even if it stands before you.  The problem is that Hitlers' can be charming. Stalins' can be sweet.  Columbuses' can give you the last 20 cents you needed for your coffee when you were out of change.  People don't have the same archetypes that the villains from our childhood stories have.  Even the archetypes can blend together.  For Hitler's mustache was actually of British origin and was popularized by the innocent comedian Charlie Chaplin.

Sometimes these archetypes can get in the way of even determining who is a friend and who is an enemy.  When I was young, I remember being at the temple in Srirangam.  Srirangam is a beautiful Vaishnavite temple in South India. It is huge.  The outer walls have a circumference of 6 miles. It is 156 acres in size, about 1.5 times larger than Vatican City (109 acres).

I remember being overwhelmed with the crowds of people and the tall gopurams towering over 200 feet.  And suddenly in the masses, I was lost.

Not spiritually lost, but literally lost.  I had no idea where my family was.  I tried seeking help from those around me.  These was one girl who came up to me and asked me if I was lost.  I was about to speak when her mother grabbed her hand and pulled her away:

"Yain andha karuppaana passanngal koodu paysera? Yarro pethu pitchakarranga..." Translation: "Why are you talking with those dark-skinned kids? They are probably just beggars!"


And in that moment I was the black sheep.  I always knew that that I was darker than most people in my family, but I never knew that that carried any influence on how I may be perceived in public.  I had forgotten that in the Amar Chitra Katha stories, the heroes were always shaded in pink while the villains were shaded in black or dark grey. I found my family within the next few minutes, but the moment deeply scarred me.



But it also opened my eyes to reality.  It's not as easy to spot good people in a crowd.  And it's similarly not easy to spot the beasts.   The beasts in this world may appear with charming faces, sweet expressions, and kind gestures. Also, probably most frightening, they may even possess positions of power.

In the Mahabharatha, there is a story of where the evil Kauravas, after winning a game of dice, bring out the Princess Draupadi to be stripped before the entire court and thereby humiliated.

In an extremely moving scene, she defiantly looks at all the lords of the court and spits in their face.  She states "where righteousness and justice do not exist, it ceases to be a court; it is a gang of robbers".


For me, this scene was moving for many reasons.  Draupadi was in a handicapped state where even those who knew how unfair the situation was, did not come to her rescue.  The "beasts" in her situation were all princes and lords of the court with the power to execute her.  However, she was defiant and spoke in favor of righteousness, even though a plea for mercy might have been more helpful for her plight.  And that's the second part of the answer to why the Holocaust occurred.  People were too afraid to stand up and face the beasts since the beasts were in positions of power.


What I've learned in my life is to always be alert.  There are beasts that prowl around us all the time.  We have two duties: (1) To not let appearances, traits, and other characteristics be the determining factor of who is righteous and who is not, and (2) when confronted by one of these beasts, to step forward in the name of righteousness, instead of cowering, even if we are not in a position of power.

Sight

The middle of April is always when taxes are due.  Coincidentally, it is also the same time when Tamil New Year happens.  The Tamil New Year follows the ancient Solar Hindu calendar.  This calendar is used in many different parts of South Asia and South East Asia   Hence the Tamil New Year falls on the same day as various other Asian communities including Bangladeshi, Burmese, Cambodian, Laotian, Sinhalese, and Thai communities.



 For my family, Tamil New Year was always a simple occasion.  We never got vacations to get out of school.  We never got gifts.  And, more than likely, dinner consisted of our traditional lentil soup (sambhar) and rice, with sides of vegetables.  Nothing fancy.  As I was growing up, Tamil New Year was easily overshadowed by other Hindu holidays like Deepavali, with the fireworks and parties, or Navaratri, with the dances and candles, or even Pongal, with the loads of yummy dishes.





However, there is one tradition that I can never forget about Tamil New Year.



 Every morning, on the first day of the Tamil New Year, my mother would wake me up very early.  But even before I could open my eyes, she would cover them and keep them closed.  I would protest loudly and complain that I wanted to sleep more.  My mother would firmly keep my eyes closed and tell me that I was only 
allowed to open them when she led me to our basement where our family prayer room was. 

She would ask me to open my eyes to see the room.  It would always be bright with candles and small lights.  All the icons would be decorated with flowers and the room would smell of incense and jasmine.  Even at that age, the sight of this would take my breath away.


Amma: Kanna therindu paar. Open your eyes and see.
Me: Yedhir kagha? Why should I see this?

Amma:  Because I want you to see light, beauty, and God in everything.  Do you know how they say in America, "You woke up on the 'wrong' side of the bed?" Me: Yeah...

Amma:  This is the "right" side of the bed.

Me: Is this about whether I should use my right hand or my left hand to eat?

Amma: <<jokingly taps me on the head>> Badava!  <<seriously>> Harikannu, we who have the ability to see are blessed and cursed with the power of sight.  What we see can motivate us or dishearten us.  If each day is like being born, then the first thing we rest our eyes upon is our "mudhalali"...our master, our parent, our focus.  On this day, on our Puthandu, I want you to look upon the divine so that is your focus. Not only for today...but for the entire year.


I have maintained that tradition for years after my mom passed away.  I always awoke to look upon a sacred image to center myself.  This year I added a new addition to my altar.  In addition to the flowers, candles, holy books, and incense at my shrine...I set up my laptop with a screen saver of 30-40 pictures that capture my friends, my family, and most importantly my parents.

There is a story in Hindu mythology where the demigods Ganesha and Murugan are asked to circumambulate the entire planet in a race.  While Murugan takes off speeding around the planet, Ganesha quietly walks around his parents three times and declares himself to be the winner of the race.  

His father asked: How is that possible? You have been before me the entire time, and yet you say you have gone around the world?
Ganesha: For me, my world is my parents.  If anything, I have gone around my world not once, but three times.

And so, on this morning, this first day of Chithrai the first Tamil Month, this first blessed day of the new year, I woke up to look upon the faces of my parents, my friends, and upon my shrine to God.

But this love I have for my parents, is not an unrequited love. 

I look upon my parents once a year out of love.  But whatever love I feel towards them, they have a hundred-fold towards me 
 
My mom always called me by a nickname. My dad calls me by that same name to this day: Hari-kannu.  The word "kannu" comes from eyesight. 

I guess, in their eyes, I am more than the first thing they see on a New Year.  I am even more than the first thing they see every morning.

I am their eyes.

Ants

A lesson I learned from my Dad, a pretty successful man, as a 4 year old (that I'm hoping some other people might learn...much later in life.)

<<In Thiruchi, India, playing in my Uncle's background>> Dad: Hari kannu, what are you doing?

Me: Playing with the ants...I put some sugar cubes in a pile. I want to see them bite off clumps and take them away. But every time I cup my hands to force them near the cubes, they run even farther away...

Dad: (laughs) I'll help you, but first come do some multiplication tables with me.

<<later that evening>>

Me: Appa! Ingai vaanga! Look! They're breaking down the cubes and carrying them away! <<mesmerized by the rows of ants>> \

Dad: Let's help them out <<lifts his sandal to step on a line of ants>>

Me: No appa! Niruthanga! Dad: <<Moves foot safely away from ants>>Exactly. When you looked away, the hardworking ants did their job. Like how you do your multiplication tables better in school and when competing with your cousins than when I'm forcing you. <<I look away sheepishly>>

Dad: <<smiles>>You see we're not too different from ants. Hard workers will rise to meet the challenge. But if you corner them in your cupped hands, or worse, step on them...you squelch their ability.

Bullies

Pretty much as soon as I started riding the school bus in Kindergarten, I managed to find a group of three bullies who were 5-6 years older than me.  They would typically grab my lunch box and destroy all the items inside of it.  They would toss around my food, spill the rice, and drizzle the dal/lentils on me.

Me, being the non-confrontational person I've always been, decided the best way to handle the situation was to "accidentally" miss my school bus every day and have my parents drive me to school. My mom figured out my plan by Day 3.

When she confronted me, I explained everything to her.  She calmly listened to the situation and told me that she would take care of it.

The next day she came with me to the bus stop.  My mom, as pretty as she was, had a presence that could silence even the most belligerent hyena. You could hear a pin drop inside of that bus.

She walked around the bus and handed everyone Indian sweets: Palgova.  But when she got to the back of the bus where I was sitting, she looked at me and said, "Are these your boys?"

I was barely able to nod.  The gulp my bullies made was clearly audible.  I had no idea how the situation was going to turn out.

She handed all of them the Palgova and personally thanked each one of my bullies for making me comfortable at the beginning of my school career.  Furthermore, she invited their families over for dinner.

If they had tails....they would be between their legs.

This story has a very happy ending. The three bullies became great friends of mine.  For years, even after I had switched to Lemont Elementary School, these boys not only invited me to their parties, but protected me like a little brother.  A lot of love in return for just a small kind gesture from my mother.

I asked my mom later:

Me: Amma! Eppadri ungallukku theriyum? How did you know that they would be so nice to me afterwards?
Amma: I had no idea.  For all I knew, they could have continued bullying you.  But I knew that the only way to bring the best out of others was to show the best of yourself. Mathangalai namma purinjal, avangal nammai puriyarathakku vaiypu undu. If we understand others, only then do we have a chance of them being able to understand us.

This world is full of terrible sins. I can be a kind, charitable, loving person...and there's always the chance that a random drunk driver could hit me when I cross an intersection.  There is no guarantee for a good life.  But there is a guarantee to live a good life.  History does not forgive those who have done wrongs by saying "Oh he was bullied...", "Oh, he had a rough life...", or "Oh, if only he had more love..."

We will be always defined by our actions.  My mother chose kindness...always.  150 years before now, none of us were here.  150 years from now, none of us will be here.  We can share hate, express anger, and show dislike...but what is the outcome?  When all of our flesh has turned into sand or ashes, it does not matter. But the love we show? That has the power to live throughout ages....

Intentions

Many centuries ago, southern India was covered in a dense jungle and populated by many tribes worshiping different deities.  In this land, there was a hunter born with the name "Thinnan". 

Thinnan's tribe did not worship Shiva as a form of God.  So while he was hunting through the woods, he was surprised to come upon a shrine.  The shrine was simple yet elegant and contained only an aniconic image of Shiva in the form of a Lingam.

A digression: The Lingam itself has become a matter of controversy for those who study religion.  There are some who insist that the Lingam exists as a phallic symbol that when combined with the Yoni, an icon of the female reproductive organ, symbolizes the power of creation.  However, this interpretation often accompanies cynical and disparaging commentary from those with Victorian sexual viewpoints or those who want to portray Hinduism as a very superficial and primitive faith.  Hindu apologists often insist that the Lingam is a depiction of a "pillar", and therefore shows strength of character, morality, conviction, and piety.

To me, the Lingam represents power through goodness.  If sexuality is used in a positive manner as a mark of love, then that is goodness.  If we live our lives in an upright manner and do not bend to the winds of greed, hatred, and malice, then that is goodness.  Those are the things that the Lingam represents for me.

Thinnan did not know of any meaning for the Lingam, but was for some reason drawn to it.  For the rest of the day, the image of the Lingam was in the back of his mind.  Thinnan found himself thinking of it as he hunted and in his dreams as he slept.  The next day, he went to the shrine early.  He watched from a distance and saw priests there that were anointing the Lingam with sacred water and making offerings of flowers and cooked rice.

Thinnan was impressed with these rituals and decided he would also make offerings to the Lingam.  That afternoon, Thinnan returned to the Lingam.

Thinnan, however, was a hunter and could only make offerings of what he had upon him.  He took the finest of his meats and placed it before the shrine, smearing the floor with the blood of the animals.  Then, as he had no pots with him, he went to the river and filled his mouth with water and returned to spit it upon the Lingam.  He would sit there for hours, talking with the Lingam and making offerings of the best meat and rejoicing for having paid his respects.

Every day, the acts repeated.  In the morning, the priests came and beautified the shrine and made offerings of flowers, cooked rice, and fruits.  In the evening, Thinnan would make his own offerings of meat and river water.

One day, the priests came upon the Lingam and were surprised to see a miracle.  The Lingam had, imbedded within the stone, two eyes staring forward intently.  The priests rejoiced at the divine sign until they noticed the blood dripping from the corner of the right eye.  They decided that the blood was an inauspicious omen and were frightened. They immediately decided to flee.  As they were running, a voice was heard from above that said "Nillu. En thiruvilaiyaddal parungal". "Stop.  Watch this divine act of mine."  They found themselves frozen in place and unable to move.


Soon after, Thinnan arrived and was preparing to make his offerings.  The priests were at first disgusted to see a man enter the shrine with the carcasses of dead animals.  However, their disgust quickly changed to horror.  Thinnan saw the eyes on the Lingam and rushed forward and embraced it.  "Lord!" he cried, "You have graced me with your Darshan, your glance."  He then saw the blood trickling from the corner of one of the eyes.  "Why Lord," he wept, "should this hunter be able to see, when you cannot?"  Without a moment of hesitation, he removed an arrow and pulled it closer to his face.  The priests watching all of this cried out, "No! No! Do not do it!"  Thinnan was not deterred.  He immediately plucked his eye out with the tip of his arrow and replaced the bleeding eye in the Lingam.  Ignoring his own pain, Thinnan rejoiced to see that the blood had stopped flowing from the Lingam's eye.

At this point, however, the Lingam's left eye began to bleed.  Thinnan was horrified, but found himself in a dilemma.  If he was completely blind, how would he be able to replace the left eye on the Lingam?  He raised his foot and placed it on the icon and placed his big toe where the eye was.  He then motioned to remove his other eye. 

Before he could remove his other eye, divine voices called out "Stop! Stop!".  His eyesight and his eyes were immediately restored and divine beings came down and garlanded him.   The priests, themselves helpless to stop the preceding events, found themselves unfrozen. They rushed forward and fell at Thinnan's feet and praised his devotion.  Thinnan was known from that day forth as "Kannappa"...he who gave his eyesight for God.

I have heard time and time again the saying that "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."  The meaning?  That whatever our intentions may be, it is our actions that determine our fate.

However, I think that to live with "good intentions" is the best and perhaps the only way that one can live.  Thinnan, now known as Kannappa, spit on a religious icon, offered raw meat, and even placed his foot on it.  These acts would be considered sacrilegious today.  However, there isn't a single Hindu who would consider him anything but a spiritually pure individual.  It is his intentions of pure faith, and not his offensive actions, that define him today.

A few weeks ago, I got into a debate with someone over religion.  Their stance was that whether you show piety or humility, if it is to the "wrong God", it is all in vain.  What does it mean to worship the "wrong God?"  Is faith only pure if we use the correct name for the deity? Kannappa never even knew the name of the deity he worshiped.  He had his own faith, religion, and way of life.  Yet, his faith was pure. 

I believe the saying about good intentions coming from individuals who have their own personal interests in mind. If your intent is to only protect yourself, or to only protect your family, your community, your country, etc, then your road may lead to hell.  It works the same with faith.  Those who see evil in all faiths other than their own and live with hatred in their hearts, have paved a path to hell.  God does not work on small scales. Neither does morality.  God, Isvara, and morality, Dharma, work on universal levels.

If you live life with the good intentions of all mankind and all life forms in your heart, you can do no wrong.  As long as you live with good intent in your heart, whether you have faith or not,  whether you profess a religion or you do not, you can do no wrong. There is no hell for those individuals who walk a path that was paved by Kannappan.

Happy Mahashivaratri.