Bullies

Pretty much as soon as I started riding the school bus in Kindergarten, I managed to find a group of three bullies who were 5-6 years older than me.  They would typically grab my lunch box and destroy all the items inside of it.  They would toss around my food, spill the rice, and drizzle the dal/lentils on me.

Me, being the non-confrontational person I've always been, decided the best way to handle the situation was to "accidentally" miss my school bus every day and have my parents drive me to school. My mom figured out my plan by Day 3.

When she confronted me, I explained everything to her.  She calmly listened to the situation and told me that she would take care of it.

The next day she came with me to the bus stop.  My mom, as pretty as she was, had a presence that could silence even the most belligerent hyena. You could hear a pin drop inside of that bus.

She walked around the bus and handed everyone Indian sweets: Palgova.  But when she got to the back of the bus where I was sitting, she looked at me and said, "Are these your boys?"

I was barely able to nod.  The gulp my bullies made was clearly audible.  I had no idea how the situation was going to turn out.

She handed all of them the Palgova and personally thanked each one of my bullies for making me comfortable at the beginning of my school career.  Furthermore, she invited their families over for dinner.

If they had tails....they would be between their legs.

This story has a very happy ending. The three bullies became great friends of mine.  For years, even after I had switched to Lemont Elementary School, these boys not only invited me to their parties, but protected me like a little brother.  A lot of love in return for just a small kind gesture from my mother.

I asked my mom later:

Me: Amma! Eppadri ungallukku theriyum? How did you know that they would be so nice to me afterwards?
Amma: I had no idea.  For all I knew, they could have continued bullying you.  But I knew that the only way to bring the best out of others was to show the best of yourself. Mathangalai namma purinjal, avangal nammai puriyarathakku vaiypu undu. If we understand others, only then do we have a chance of them being able to understand us.

This world is full of terrible sins. I can be a kind, charitable, loving person...and there's always the chance that a random drunk driver could hit me when I cross an intersection.  There is no guarantee for a good life.  But there is a guarantee to live a good life.  History does not forgive those who have done wrongs by saying "Oh he was bullied...", "Oh, he had a rough life...", or "Oh, if only he had more love..."

We will be always defined by our actions.  My mother chose kindness...always.  150 years before now, none of us were here.  150 years from now, none of us will be here.  We can share hate, express anger, and show dislike...but what is the outcome?  When all of our flesh has turned into sand or ashes, it does not matter. But the love we show? That has the power to live throughout ages....