Sight

The middle of April is always when taxes are due.  Coincidentally, it is also the same time when Tamil New Year happens.  The Tamil New Year follows the ancient Solar Hindu calendar.  This calendar is used in many different parts of South Asia and South East Asia   Hence the Tamil New Year falls on the same day as various other Asian communities including Bangladeshi, Burmese, Cambodian, Laotian, Sinhalese, and Thai communities.



 For my family, Tamil New Year was always a simple occasion.  We never got vacations to get out of school.  We never got gifts.  And, more than likely, dinner consisted of our traditional lentil soup (sambhar) and rice, with sides of vegetables.  Nothing fancy.  As I was growing up, Tamil New Year was easily overshadowed by other Hindu holidays like Deepavali, with the fireworks and parties, or Navaratri, with the dances and candles, or even Pongal, with the loads of yummy dishes.





However, there is one tradition that I can never forget about Tamil New Year.



 Every morning, on the first day of the Tamil New Year, my mother would wake me up very early.  But even before I could open my eyes, she would cover them and keep them closed.  I would protest loudly and complain that I wanted to sleep more.  My mother would firmly keep my eyes closed and tell me that I was only 
allowed to open them when she led me to our basement where our family prayer room was. 

She would ask me to open my eyes to see the room.  It would always be bright with candles and small lights.  All the icons would be decorated with flowers and the room would smell of incense and jasmine.  Even at that age, the sight of this would take my breath away.


Amma: Kanna therindu paar. Open your eyes and see.
Me: Yedhir kagha? Why should I see this?

Amma:  Because I want you to see light, beauty, and God in everything.  Do you know how they say in America, "You woke up on the 'wrong' side of the bed?" Me: Yeah...

Amma:  This is the "right" side of the bed.

Me: Is this about whether I should use my right hand or my left hand to eat?

Amma: <<jokingly taps me on the head>> Badava!  <<seriously>> Harikannu, we who have the ability to see are blessed and cursed with the power of sight.  What we see can motivate us or dishearten us.  If each day is like being born, then the first thing we rest our eyes upon is our "mudhalali"...our master, our parent, our focus.  On this day, on our Puthandu, I want you to look upon the divine so that is your focus. Not only for today...but for the entire year.


I have maintained that tradition for years after my mom passed away.  I always awoke to look upon a sacred image to center myself.  This year I added a new addition to my altar.  In addition to the flowers, candles, holy books, and incense at my shrine...I set up my laptop with a screen saver of 30-40 pictures that capture my friends, my family, and most importantly my parents.

There is a story in Hindu mythology where the demigods Ganesha and Murugan are asked to circumambulate the entire planet in a race.  While Murugan takes off speeding around the planet, Ganesha quietly walks around his parents three times and declares himself to be the winner of the race.  

His father asked: How is that possible? You have been before me the entire time, and yet you say you have gone around the world?
Ganesha: For me, my world is my parents.  If anything, I have gone around my world not once, but three times.

And so, on this morning, this first day of Chithrai the first Tamil Month, this first blessed day of the new year, I woke up to look upon the faces of my parents, my friends, and upon my shrine to God.

But this love I have for my parents, is not an unrequited love. 

I look upon my parents once a year out of love.  But whatever love I feel towards them, they have a hundred-fold towards me 
 
My mom always called me by a nickname. My dad calls me by that same name to this day: Hari-kannu.  The word "kannu" comes from eyesight. 

I guess, in their eyes, I am more than the first thing they see on a New Year.  I am even more than the first thing they see every morning.

I am their eyes.